[Sex Addicts Anonymous pgs 1-2] Sex Addicts Anonymous is a fellowship of people who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other so that they may find freedom from addictive sexual behavior and help others recover from sexual addiction. ​ Our primary purpose is to stop our addictive sexual behavior and to help others recover from sexual addiction. We find a new way of living through the SAA program and carry our message to others seeking recovery. ​ Membership is open to all who have a desire to stop addictive sexual behavior. There is no other requirement. ​ In our groups, there is a collective wisdom that has grown and been handed down over the years. We learn many new solutions to old problems. Central to these are the Twelve Steps, a spiritual program of recovery. Following these steps leads to freedom from addictive sexual behaviors and to the healing of our minds, bodies, spirits, relationships, and sexuality. ​ Desperation brought us together. We found in each other what we could find nowhere else: people who knew the depth of our pain. Together we found hope and the care of a loving Higher Power. Our commitment is to help others recover from sexual addiction, just as we have been helped.
SAA is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other, that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from their sexual addiction. Membership is open to all who share a desire to stop addictive sexual behavior. There is no other requirement.
Our common goals are to become sexually healthy and to help other sex addicts achieve freedom from compulsive sexual behavior. SAA meetings are supported through voluntary contributions from members.
We are not affiliated with any other twelve-step programs, nor are we a part of any other organization. We do not support, endorse, or oppose outside causes or issues.
SAA is a spiritual program based on the principles and traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous. We are grateful to AA for this gift which makes our recovery possible.
We understand recovery to be abstinence from all sexually addictive behaviors coupled with on-going spiritual growth. With the support of the group, each addict develops his or her own program around these two principles: 1. We support each other In abstinence by helping each member to:
Identify a list of all sexually addictive behaviors.
Establish boundaries that deter acting out and safeguard abstinence.
Maintain and refine those boundaries.
2. We support each other in spiritual growth by helping each member to:
Do on-going work on the 12 steps of SAA.
Stay in an active sponsorship relationship.
Develop and carry out a daily recovery plan.
Abstinence is not a requirement for group membership. However, we have learned that unless we hold it up as a goal and hold each other accountable to work for it, the "cunning, baffling and powerful" nature of our addiction will lead us to believe that it is not necessary to our recovery.
We have also learned that it is necessary to respect each other as sexual beings; therefore we take the time to identify what behaviors are sexually healthy for us.
Finally, our experience has taught us that by abstaining from all sexually addictive behaviors and working for spiritual growth, new opportunities open to us for healing in our sexuality and our whole lives. Through working the spiritual program of the 12 steps in this way, we have found that we are being led by our Higher Power to freedom from sexual compulsion, to a healthy sexuality and true serenity.
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program; usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it — then you are ready to take certain steps. At some of these, we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely. Remember that we deal with sex addiction — cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power — that One is God. May you find Him now! Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.
[Sex Addicts Anonymous page 20] Attending SAA meetings starts us on a new way of life. But while the SAA fellowship supports our recovery, the actual work of recovery is described in the Twelve Steps. Meetings are forums for learning how to integrate the steps into our lives. Working the Twelve Steps leads to a spiritual transformation that results in sustainable relief from our addiction. ​ When we start attending meetings of Sex Addicts Anonymous, many of us are surprised to meet people who are enjoying life, experiencing freedom from the painful, compulsive behaviors that had brought them to SAA. Listening to other members share about their recovery, we gradually realize that in order to make the same kind of progress, we need to be willing to do whatever it takes to get sexually abstinent, and to stay abstinent. We have learned from hard experience that we cannot achieve and maintain abstinence if we aren’t willing to change our way of life. But if we can honestly face our problems, and are willing to change, the Twelve Steps of SAA will lead to an awakening that allows us to live a new way of life according to spiritual principles. Taking these steps allows fundamental change to occur in our lives. They are the foundation of our recovery.
[From Sex Addicts Anonymous, pages 20-21]
Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery: 1. We admitted we were powerless over addictive sexual behavior - that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God. 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings. 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and to practice these principles in our lives. Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.’’ Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. Our understanding of sexual addiction and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas: a. That we were sexually addicted and could not manage our own lives. b. That probably no human power could have relieved our addictive behavior. c. That God could and would if God were sought.
[Sex Addicts Anonymous pages 99-100] In our experience, though meetings are important, they are not sufficient for recovery from sex addiction. We need the spiritual solution offered by the Twelve Steps. To be sure, meetings are where most of us first encounter the steps, learn about the program, find our sponsors, and share with others our desire for recovery. But if we want to actually experience recovery in our lives, there are no shortcuts. We have to work the steps to experience the fruits of working the steps. The steps are the spiritual solution to our addiction — leading not only to a life of abstinence from our addictive sexual behaviors, but to a fulfilling life of service to our brothers and sisters in recovery and beyond. The spiritual awakening described in Step Twelve puts us on the path of service and connects us with our Higher Power, our fellow addicts, and our world, in ways we had never dreamed possible.
This awakening is the foundation of a responsible and joyful existence as we seek and find our Higher Power’s will for us — both in our individual lives and in the life of our fellowship. And for this priceless gift of recovery, so astonishingly simple, so freely available, we are humbly grateful. We invite all suffering sex addicts, inside and outside the rooms of SAA, to join with us in accepting this gift.
[from Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 61] ​ Practicing these principles in our lives means applying program principles at home, at work, and wherever else we gather with others for a common purpose. As we grow spiritually, we find opportunities for service in virtually any situation. Our closest relationships may offer the most challenges to our honesty, compassion, and integrity, but we are often rewarded beyond our expectations. We find that spiritual principles can guide us in the everyday challenges of life, and they can help us face even loss, grief, and death with fortitude and grace. What we gain in this program is a blueprint for full and successful living, whatever may come. ​ We maintain our recovery by working a daily program, in the knowledge that although we can never be perfect, we can be happy today. We can live life on life’s terms, without having to change or suppress our feelings. Our serenity and sobriety grow as we continue to live according to spiritual principles. We enjoy the gifts that come from being honest and living a life of integrity. We ask for help when we need it, and we express our love and gratitude every day. We realize that everything we have been through helps us to be of service to others. We learn that the world is a much safer place than we had ever known before, because we are always in the care of a loving God.
[Sex Addicts Anonymous page 9] Sex addiction is not a bad habit. Nor is it the result of poor self-control, a lack of morals, or a series of mistakes, if it were something we could stop on our own, the negative consequences would be enough to make us stop. Many of us tried to cure ourselves with religious or spiritual practice, moral discipline, or self-improvement. Despite our sincerity and our best efforts, we continued to act out. Our behavior eluded all rational attempts at explanation or correction. We had to face the fact that we had a disease, and that we could not stop the addictive behavior by ourselves. For all of us now in recovery, there came a time when we realized that we simply could not keep on living as before. Our denial cracked and we felt the full force of our unbearable situation. We saw that we were at the end of our rope, and that all that was left was the knot. To continue to act out seemed impossible, and yet to not act out seemed equally impossible. We knew we had to change, even if we didn’t know how. Out of this despair, we came to Sex Addicts Anonymous.
[From Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 76]
​ Just as the Steps teach us the spiritual principles necessary for healthy individual recovery, the Traditions embody the spiritual principles necessary for the healthy functioning of our groups. Adhering to these principles safeguards our fellowship, thus protecting the recovery of each individual member. We have found that they also help us to act with integrity in our personal relationships and as responsible members of society. ​ This month's tradition is: ​ 1. JAN. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon SAA unity. ​​ 2. FEB. For Our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority — a loving God as expressed in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. ​​ 3. MAR. The only requirement for SAA membership is a desire to stop addictive sexual behavior. ​ 4. APR. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or SAA as a whole. ​ 5. MAY. Each group has but one primary purpose — to carry its message to the sex addict who still suffers. ​ 6. JUNE. An SAA group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the SAA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose. ​ 7. JULY. Every SAA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. ​ 8. AUG. Sex Addicts Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers. ​ 9. SEPT. SAA, as such, ought never be organized, but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve. ​ 10. OCT. Sex Addicts Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the SAA name ought never be drawn into public controversy. ​ 11. NOV. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, TV, and films. ​ 12. DEC. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are halfway through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. ​ We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity, and we will know peace. ​ No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. ​ Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. ​ Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us. ​ We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves ​ Are these extravagant promises?
GROUP: We think not. They are being fulfilled among us — sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
We would like to especially welcome the Newcomers to our meeting. We know the courage it takes coming here the first time. All of us in this meeting have been in your shoes. ​ In a few minutes, we will open up the meeting for sharing. This is a time when you may share your experience, if you like. Stick around after the meeting if you have any questions. ​ We recommend that you attend at least six meetings and talk to as many members of the fellowship as possible before you decide whether SAA has anything to offer you. You will find that each meeting is a little bit different, but each meeting shares and works the same program called the Twelve Steps. The twelve-step program is what works for us. ​ This is not just a meeting, this is a fellowship of sex addicts in action. We work the steps and help others to do the same. We encourage you to make finding a sponsor a priority. A sponsor can show you how to work the steps. It is our sincerest hope that you find what you are looking for.